messy blobs

these images were created in late 2024 and early 2025 before i started field botany classes with lanny. i was burned out with digital rendering and this habit emerged after painting pages of plaid for months on end. there is a gift in losing old skill sets. being unskilled in watercolor paired well with how clear it became to me that listening and seeing are often erased by assuming i know what it is i’m looking at. it was disturbing for me to have passersby interrupt and ask me to show them my painting. they made comments that i was being shy or should take more pride in whatever i was doing. i wanted to say: i’m really trying to forget what i think right now and words only create more interference. please go away. i’d just say thank you until they left. it frustrated me.

i still ponder that the sacred is everywhere in any moment when i am desiring to deepen my understanding of what life is presenting to me in any moment. imagining i understand what i hear and what i see is part of keeping pace with the times. time’s different in nature. language dissolves. mystery prevails. of the foothills of my hometown i know so little. but they live in me regardless. offer themselves whether i seek them or not. their truth shaping breezes that speak of them if ever i choose to listen. sometimes the most important voices are the most difficult to hear.